Our Song

Hello, friends. It's National Novel Writing Month! That's the month where crazy people, like me, write 50,000 words. Don't worry, I'll keep updating my blog. We're getting close to the 100th post, after all. In any case, last week, we looked at The Celestial Sisters, which honestly could have been pretty disturbing. This week I'm writing a modern day version of that fairy tale. Although, I didn't go the disturbing route. I've realized I put a lot of music in my stories but I did it this week for two reasons: The Celestial Sisters is too good of a name to pass up for a girl rock group, and there's just something magical about live music.

Sometimes it's easier to talk through music.

I'm the bass player in a band called The Celestial Sisters. We've got Nikki on guitar and vocals, Jane on drums, and Martha on keyboards. We graduated from practicing in Jane's garage to getting gigs in bars about a year ago and it's been pretty great. We all have day jobs, but our gigs are mostly on the weekends, so it isn't too hard to make everything work. Of course, all of us except Martha are single. She has a very understanding boyfriend who sees her when he can. For the rest of us, our schedule is too demanding and we try to tell ourselves that's the only reason we're single. Sorry. I'm rambling. I do that.

Anyway, we had just finished our set at a club called Michael's when one of the regulars came up to talk to us. Greg was a pretty sweet kid, although Nikki always got annoyed by him. Tonight, though, Greg had a friend with him. Greg introduced him as Shaun. Shaun was tall, handsome, and had a great smile. I promise I usually tried not to be attracted to our fans. It appeared Shaun was also taken with me because after we'd all been chatting for a bit, he asked me to dance. Since we were on our break, it was canned music, but it was still pretty good, so I said yes.

I know how to move to a beat and I don't embarrass myself when I dance, but I'm not that great. Shaun was tearing it up. Then he grabbed my hand and led me through a few steps as well. That guy could dance. After the song was done, he asked me, "Can I take you away from all of this?"

"We're not done playing tonight," I replied, "and I've got something after this. Maybe some other time."

"Okay," he said. "Looking forward to hearing your next set."

 Our next set was great, but by the time we finished playing, Greg and Shaun had already left.

"Looking for a new man, are we?" Jane teased.

"Maybe." I shrugged.

"Tina, you've got to be one of the densest people I've ever met. Did you at least get a date with him for another night?" Nikki was never one to hold back.

"Well, no."

The girls scoffed and Nikki threw her hands up in defeat.

"I'm not sure I want to date him. I just met the guy."

"That's what dates are for, to find that out," Jane told me. "Hopefully he'll come back with Greg next week."

I decided it was best not to say anything.

"Don't worry about it," Martha advised me. "Jason was trying to get my attention for months before I even realized that's what he was doing. If he's worth dating, he can be as patient as you need."

"Thanks, Martha." I finished putting my stuff away and stood up. "See you all tomorrow for practice." I had been working on our next song and I was almost done with it.

The rest of the band waved and finished packing up as I left.

Shaun and Greg were there at the next gig we played, but I still wasn't sure if I wanted to date Shaun, so when he asked, I put him off again. When Shaun showed up to our third gig without Greg, Nikki practically threatened me if I didn't get a date with him. "You like him, right?" she asked me.

"Well, yeah," I admitted.

"Then just call it hanging out if you don't want to call it a date, but set up some time with him! And get his digits!"

I kind of shrugged and started to turn away, but Nikki turned me back around. "Look. Get over whatever complex you have and spend time with this guy you like. If you don't set up a date with him, I'll set one up for you."

I could only imagine how Nikki would phrase that when she was talking to Shaun. "Fine! I'll do it!"

"You're welcome," Nikki replied with a grin.

So in between our sets, when Shaun was dancing with me, this time I accepted when he asked if I wanted to go with him. His smile when I said yes was definitely worth it. It was a Friday night and we decided on Sunday afternoon. We'd get brunch and take a walk.

When I got back to the band, I was grinning from ear to ear. Nikki looked at me and smiled. "Was that so hard?" she asked.

I decided not to answer.

That Sunday, we had brunch at one of my favorite places and took a walk along with waterfront. As we chatted, I learned that Shaun played guitar. "Why didn't you tell me you were a musician?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It never quite fit in the conversation."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "That's so cool."

"I write music, too," he told me.

"Me too. I write for our group. Although really, I write something, and when we actually go to play it, everyone tweaks it a bit and changes it."

"Isn't that frustrating?" Shaun asked.

"It was at first, but that makes it sound so much better." I shrugged. "And it helps me write better for the next time."

"Do you want to write a song together sometime?" Shaun asked.

"Sure." I smiled. "I'm really glad we're doing this."

"Me too," Shaun replied.

We had several more dates until I asked Shaun if he wanted to be my boyfriend. He said yes right away and not too long after that, we started working on a song together. Just after Shaun and I started dating, Martha announced that she had Jason were engaged. He must have been saving up for months to afford that giant rock he gave her. Of course we were all excited, and it was nice to be able to hassle Nikki and Jane for still being single. Nikki, of course, said that she was having too much fun having one night stands. Jane just laughed and shook her head.

Of course, the closer Martha's wedding got, the less time she had for the band. Eventually, Nikki just declared we were on hiatus and I think Martha was secretly relieved. I was too. That meant I could go see more of Shaun's band's shows. White Hawks played mostly feel-good rock, but Shaun told me he was trying to get them to play some harder music, like what we played.

"I just feel like it's okay to bare your soul more with punk rock. You know?"

"Lyrics can still have a deep meaning, whatever genre you're playing," I pointed out.

"I know, but the music carries more weight when it's punk rather than...bouncy. You know what I mean?"

I nodded. "Still, don't try to make your band into something it's not."

Shaun smiled. "This is why I have you. You're right. I won't push it with the guys, but I will bring it up when it's relevant." We kissed and I lost track of time for a moment. "So, want to keep working on our song?" Shaun asked.

"Sure." I hadn't realized I would feel so vulnerable writing a song with Shaun until we had started, but he'd been supportive the whole way. It didn't feel weird being vulnerable with him, and I knew this song would be better having both of us in it. With The Celestial Sisters on hiatus, I didn't have to worry about writing new songs for them, and I could focus on this song with Shaun. We called it "A Basket Tune" because we had to call it something and it was nicer than calling ourselves basket cases.

Time went by and Martha's wedding was coming closer. It had been nice to take a break from the band, but after Martha and Jason got back from their honeymoon, it would be great to start playing again. "Who knows," I told Shaun, "maybe we'll play A Basket Tune at our first gig back."

"I thought we were writing that for White Hawks," Shaun replied, confused.

"Oh, but it's not really your band's style." This wasn't something I'd expected.

"But I'm trying to get it to be our style," Shaun said. "We've already started working on learning it."

"Oh." I was deflated. It wasn't really a betrayal, so why did it feel like one?

"I was going to surprise you with it." Shaun smiled uncertainly. "Is that all right?"

I didn't answer him right away. I was starting to feel sick. "But it doesn't even have the right instrumentation for you guys. There's no mandolin part for Frank." I was grasping at straws.

"Look, Tina, if you don't like it, just tell me."

"Well maybe I don't." Why did he get to sound exasperated when it was my trust that was broken?

Shaun was stunned for a moment. "Well, fine. You can have the damn song, then."

"Good! I meant it for my band anyway." I stood up. For a moment, I wasn't sure what I was going to do.

"Oh, just leave. You're killing my vibe," Shaun told me.

That did it. "Oh, I'll leave. We're done." I stormed out and didn't once look back.

I went to Martha's wedding without a date. I told everyone that Shaun was sick because I didn't want to start drama at Martha's wedding. This was supposed to be a happy day for her.

I went home and wrote a song that night. Bitter and dark and I knew as soon as the girls looked at it, they would know what happened. But it felt so right to write it and I would get a grim kind of pleasure in playing it and having Shaun hear it. By the time we had our first rehearsal after Martha's honeymoon, it was ready to go.

We played through it once. When we were done, Nikki turned and looked at me. "What the hell happened to you?"

I tried to be casual. "Shaun and I broke up."

"What? What happened?" Jane was shocked and trying not to be.

I explained, quickly.

"Jerk," Nikki said decisively. "So, what's this song you were fighting over? We're playing it at our first gig, right?"

I was torn. I had wanted to write it for us and I told Shaun that. It's not like he would have any right to be surprised. "Sure. What the hell." So that's what we did.

I noticed Shaun in the audience at our gig. Nikki must have noticed him too, because she changed the set list to start off with A Basket Tune. It didn't take Shaun long to recognize the song and after that it didn't take long for him to leave. I told myself fiercely that I was glad we left. I didn't want him there anyway.

However, as time went by, I began to miss him. I started to wonder what A Basket Tune would sound like when White Hawks played it. Nikki told me I was backing down, but Jane seemed to understand. Martha told me to go for it, but she'd always been a romantic and getting married had just made that worse. Eventually, I showed up to a White Hawk gig and approached Shaun at their break.

"I'm sorry," I said.

He looked at me for a moment and I was worried he was still mad at me. He sighed. "I'm sorry too. I really messed that up, huh?"

"Hey, I messed it up too."

We stood awkwardly for a moment.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I was thinking. It wouldn't be awful if we both played A Basket Tune, right? We could just say we co-wrote it when we introduced the song."

Shaun smiled. "I think we could make that happen." He looked around. "I think we're almost back up, but listen to the first song. You might want to record it for your bandmates."

"Okay." I guessed I shouldn't have been surprised he wrote a song about me. I'd written a few about him.

Shaun gave one of his great smiles and got back on stage with his band. I made my way to the front of the audience and pulled out my phone. He had written a song about me. It was just him and his guitar weaving a yearning song about what they'd lost, but with the slight hope at the end they might get it back. I ended the recording and tried to blink away my tears. Shaun looked right at me and I gave him a watery smile and a thumbs up. He grinned back and the band launched into one of their bouncy rock songs I loved so much. It was perfect.