I do want to specify that a florin used to be a coin, and the resonance of naming a greedy character after money was just too good to pass up. Even if the name is a little different.
I hope you enjoy the story!
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| Doesn't really look like a lamp to me. |
Bill had not expected a response to his job so quickly, but he followed the push notification back to the freelance job app, and sure enough, some guy was interested in his job. It was an easy enough job.
Bill needed someone to go into a junkyard and bring out a particular item for him. The owners of the junkyard likely didn't even know this item was there. It wasn't theirs, or anyone's really. What Bill did not say in his ad was that this item was a magic lamp and that he wanted to make sure no one used it. The genie inside, like all genies, was often cruel in the way he granted his wishes. Because of some of the more aggravating rules of magic, Bill could not go into the junkyard and get the lamp himself. Someone had to give it to him.
The man who had replied to his job said his name was Florian. Bill messaged him and they agreed to meet outside the junkyard the next day.
Florian looked a little sketchy to Bill. Still, what Bill was asking him to do was not entirely legal, so that shouldn't have been surprising.
"Hey," Florian said. "So, what do you want me to get out of here, exactly?"
Bill had thought it best not to give too many details online. "It's a lamp," he said, pulling up a picture on his phone. "It looks like this."
Florian looked at the picture, then back at Bill. "That's not like any lamp I've ever seen."
"It's an old oil lamp," Bill explained.
"Why pay someone to go get it? Why not get it yourself?" Apparently, Florian didn't fully trust Bill either.
Bill stuffed down his rising annoyance. "Because I'd hate to get my clothes dirty." Still, he had some compassion. "Here, take this ring. You can give it back to me when you come out."
"Why?" Florian asked, looking at the plain bronze band Bill had given him.
In reality, there was a minor, and generally helpful, genie in this ring. This genie wasn't as powerful as the one in the lamp, so it was probably safe enough to loan to an unsuspecting person for awhile. Just to be sure, Bill breathed a small spell over the ring to make sure that only Bill could take it off Florian. "It will help you if you get in trouble," Bill said.
Florian gave him a weird look, but put the ring on. "Do you know where this lamp is in here, or is that part of the job?"
"It's near the northeast corner," Bill said.
Florian gave him a confused look.
Bill sighed and pointed.
Florian nodded and headed inside. He didn't mention anything about the gate being unlocked, so Bill didn't explain how that had happened.
Once Florian was inside, Bill shut the gate behind him and walked around the outside of the junkyard toward the northeast corner. He wanted to be nearby in case there was trouble. This lamp had been moving freely for years and Bill was a little worried that the genie inside would try to stop him from getting it.
Bill made it to the corner and waited. And waited. And waited. He knew Florian had to cover a fairly large area and find a small item, but it shouldn't take this long, should it? Maybe Florian had just turned around and left. Bill was sure he would know when Florian found the lamp. There should be some kind of magical event when the genie found a new master.
Just when Bill was starting to wonder if Florian had indeed run off, he felt it. There was a sort of...change in the air. Florian had found the lamp. Bill started to walk back to the front gate, when he heard dogs growling and barking. He cursed. He hadn't realized animals would feel the magic event too. Or maybe Florian had done something to set them off. Either way, the junkyard's mobile and strong-jawed security system was probably heading for Florian now.
Bill sighed. He hadn't wanted to use any magic, but it was going to be more difficult to get them out of this without it. He closed his eyes and found Florian. He was near the fence, not too far away. He was climbing. Good, that would buy them some time. The fence was topped with barbed wire and Bill didn't have the patience to do anything about it. Instead, he levitated himself in the air and headed over where Florian was.
Bill saw Florian first. He tried to speak, or reach out to get Florian, but he couldn't. There weren't any magical protections around the junkyard, so what was going on? That was when Bill realized that it was the lamp. Bill couldn't grab Florian while the other man had the lamp unless Florian gave him the lamp. Now that he saw the full problem, Bill would have bet anything the genie made those dogs go on alert. Bill could probably make them sleep, but he wasn't sure it would work. He hadn't used spells on dogs much and he might get the strength wrong.
"Florian!" Bill yelled. Now that he had a different goal, he was easily able to move again.
"Yeah?" Florian turned. "You're floating! What the hell?"
"Give me the lamp and I'll get you out of here."
Florian pulled the lamp out of his backpack. The pile of junk he was standing on shifted. The dogs were trying to find a way up. Bill saw Florian's hand tighten on the lamp. "I can give it to you once you've gotten me out."
"I'm still going to pay you!" Bill yelled. "Just give me the lamp and I'll get you out of there."
Florian looked back down at the dogs, and up at Bill. "Seems like this lamp is worth a lot to you. Let's double the price."
"I'm not the one in danger here," Bill spat, his anger growing, as the dogs kept growling and barking, "and I'm not trying to cheat you. Just give me the lamp!"
"No!" Florian yelled. The pile shifted under him. One dog made a leap and skidded down the pile of junk, but landed on its feet and growled at Florian again.
"Give me the lamp so I can save your sorry hide!" Bill snapped.
"No!" Florian yelled. He started swearing at Bill.
Bill snapped. "Fine!" he yelled. "I'll have someone else get it from the dogs!" And he sent himself home.
Bill paced in his basement, cursing a blue streak, then changing the streak to purple. As a magician, his words had power and it was better he used that power in his own home. Eventually, he calmed down.
"I'm going to have to get that ring back," he realized. He kicked the wall. "I'll give it a few days," he muttered, holding his sore foot. It was probably better for both of them if he waited, assuming Florian was still alive. If Florian did die, then a few days wouldn't matter.
A few days later, Bill used a quick spell to track down his ring, using his phone's GPS. It led him into a neighborhood. Either Florian had survived the junkyard, or someone had buried him in their backyard. Bill turned off his car and waited. It was a very nice house. While Bill sat there, a delivery truck pulled up and parked in front of the house. Bill sighed and put a small glamor on himself. Now he looked like one of the guys from the truck.
He got out of his car and headed over. It only took a few words before they were directing Bill to take one end of a couch and Bill made his way into the house. It was almost empty, and the deliverymen had told Bill they were basically filling it. Bill made a note to himself to slip away at some point. He didn't want to haul all that furniture if he didn't have to.
Fortunately for Bill, it only took a few trips into the house before he saw Florian, directing where to put the furniture. His clothes looked much nicer, although Bill noticed that the finger the magic ring was on had turned red. Probably from Florian trying to pull the thing off. Good. On his next trip out, Bill slipped back into his car and drove away. The deliverymen would notice, but they wouldn't be able to say what Bill looked like.
Now that he had seen the house, and seen what Florian had wished for, Bill started thinking. It seemed like Florian had wished for lots and lots of money. It would make more sense to get enough money to buy things than use up a wish per purchase.
Now that Bill knew where Florian lived, it wasn't hard to get Florian's name, and from there find him on social media. All of Florian's posts seemed to be public, but none of them were helpful. He didn't have an easily-fooled girlfriend or family member moving into his house. He just bragged about his money and lamented his fake friends. Bill was going to have to get creative.
About a day later, it hit him. There was no way Florian was going to clean his own house. Especially not one that large. He was probably hiring a cleaning service. If Bill could get into the house as part of that service, he could casually ask someone to hand him the lamp, and this would be done.
Bill's spirits fell. Once he had the lamp, he'd have to try to undo the magical damage that genie had caused. The house was probably structurally unsound, in some spot that no one had noticed. Or maybe it was painted with lead paint. Or there was radium coming up from the basement. It would be impossible to check for everything and dismantle the spells when anyone else was around. And he couldn't be sure no one else would be around in a neighborhood like that. He'd have to move the house.
Bill cursed quietly, only emitting a dark green streak this time. This was becoming a much bigger problem than he'd anticipated. Still, he had to do something. Florian didn't know the dangers and, no matter how much Bill didn't like the man, Bill still had a responsibility to him. Sometimes being a magician sucked.
Bill found the cleaning service that Florian used and when they would show up. It was easy enough to use the same trick he'd used on the delivery people to join the cleaning crew. Now he just had to find the lamp in this house. If Florian were smart, it would probably be in a safe somewhere. Which would be hard to have someone casually hand to him.
The house was big enough that the cleaning crew split up to cover more ground. This let Bill wander where he felt the lamp's energy coming from. It wasn't on the first floor. Using this general sense of magic to guide him wasn't efficient, it was probably the most aggravating game of hot and cold that Bill had played. Still, eventually, he saw it. The lamp looked dirty and banged up, as Bill had expected, but it was granted the place of honor in a shelf in Florian's room.
Great. Now Bill just had to get one of the cleaning crew to come in here and ask them to hand the lamp to him. There was someone else cleaning in the room next door, so that was easy enough. Bill asked for help with some of the ornaments and the woman came right in.
Bill stood with his cleaning cloth and spray at the ready and got his unsuspecting partner to hand him items. She didn't seem too keen on working hard, so the arrangement seemed to suit her.
"Hand me that dirty thing?" Bill asked, pointing at the lamp.
The girl handed it to him.
Bill had to fight to stay on his feet. The magical even of a lamp being stolen, and the fact that he was the one stealing it, was powerful. "Thanks," Bill croaked out. He had made a copy of the lamp, and it was all he could do to remember to hand her the copy and put the real lamp in his pocket.
They finished up in that room, and Bill drifted outside. He sat in his car and waited for the rest of the cleaning crew to leave. Eventually, they did. Bill got out of his car, and made it appear back in his driveway. Then he walked up to the house, put his hand on the wall, and willed it and himself into a particular spot in his basement.
Bill collected all kinds of magical items. Some of the more useful ones were bags that held far more than was put into them. They could hold anything. Some scholars had theorized that these bags had their own universes inside of them. The important part to Bill was that they could easily fit an entire house. So, that's where he put Florian's house. Bill appeared in his basement, next to the bag, still holding the lamp.
Carefully, Bill put the lamp in the spot he'd created for it. It looked like a glass display case, but when Bill closed it, it would take a combination of spells to open it again, and the glass dampened the magic inside, making it much harder for the genie to wreak havoc from inside its lamp. He had a more permanent solution in mind, but that would take time to arrange.
With that weight off his mind, Bill turned to the bag that was holding the house. He sat down. This would take some time and focus. He closed his eyes, and began slowly dismantling the magical issues the genie had put into the house.
Bill was so focused on his task, that he had no idea how much time had passed before something jolted him out of his reverie. He had almost finished with the house, but someone had appeared in his basement. Bill opened his eyes and saw Florian with the sheepish ring genie behind him.
Florian had a lot to say, most of it swearing, but the general gist was that he wanted to know where his house was and that he wanted Bill to put it back right away.
Bill sighed. He wasn't going to try to explain all of his to Florian. It would take much too long and Florian likely wouldn't understand anyway. "You've got me," Bill said, putting his hands up. "I took your house, but I'll put it back." He'd done enough to fix it. If the basement leaked when it rained, that certainly wasn't his fault.
Bill closed his eyes and moved the house from his bag back onto the lot where it belonged. "There you are. Your house is back. Shall we shake hands and be friends?" Bill held out his hand.
Florian didn't want to shake hands. He smacked Bill's hand away. The ring genie disappeared.
"No, we can't be friends!" Florian yelled. "You stole my house! And I bet you stole the lamp from me too!"
Bill was very glad that he'd pulled the double of the lamp out of the house. It was getting tiring doing all of this magic.
"Good catch," Bill said. "I did, indeed take your lamp." He pulled out the fake. "No hard feelings, right?"
Florian snatched the lamp out of Bill's hands. He rubbed the lamp quickly. "Get me out of here!" Florian yelled at it.
With a last burst of power, Bill sent Florian back home. Then Bill dropped into his chair. The action rubbed the ring on his finger.
"He did say I had to bring him to where, well, where his house was," the ring genie said, "and you told me I couldn't hurt people anymore, or I would have put him in that bag."
Bill sighed. "No, it's a good thing you didn't do that." The one thing these bags didn't seem to have a lot of was air.
"That was a good sleight of hand," the ring genie said, "taking the ring off of him like that. Almost like a real magician."
Bill was too tired to be angry. "Go back in your ring," he muttered. Obediently, the ring genie disappeared. Bill leaned back in his chair. Well, that was one more idiot saved from a magical item he didn't understand.
Bill's stomach growled. He pulled out his phone. It was definitely a night for delivery.
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