Snow White

A dead girl? Can I keep her?

This story is a little different than the Disney version we're probably all familiar with. Go ahead and read this version here. It's a little bit more intense than the more common one, right? Snow White is seven when she's kicked out of her house for being too pretty. It is interesting to me that this is one of the few fairy tales where it's actually a bad thing to be pretty, at least at the beginning.

Also, can we talk about the seven dwarves? Not in a creepy way, lots of folks have covered that to death. In this particular story, the seven dwarves' house is incredibly clean. Just indescribably spotless. They also have dinner ready on the table for them when they get back. So, when they offer Snow White room and board for the cost of keeping house for them, how much does she actually do? The list looks pretty lengthy: "take care of our house, cook, make the beds, wash, sew and knit, and if you will keep everything neat and clean". I wonder how much of that list she actually ended up doing. Those miners are very generous.

They're also patient. I know Snow White is a child, but she opens the door for a stranger three separate times. And she nearly dies each time because of it. I do have to salute the queen's creativity, though. Lacing Snow White's corset too tightly is kind of a standard idea, at least for me, but a poison comb, and poisoning only half of an apple? That's pretty darn impressive. Through all of these various ways that Snow White almost dies, the dwarves never yell at her. They just warn her to be careful. I would have dragged her to the mine with me. Although that has its own set of dangers, so maybe not.

At the end, after all of this care that the dwarves give to her, they willingly give up her body to a prince who has seen her once and declares that he loves her. To add to this, she was seven when she was kicked out of her house. We're not told how much time passes before the prince shows up, but she's still probably a kid. Ew. I guess luckily for Snow White, when she wakes up, she decides that she loves the prince as well and is totally fine with marrying him.

In the end, everyone danced at Snow White's wedding, even the evil queen. It was the last dance she ever had. I told you it was brutal.