The Firebird

Get back here, thief!

This week, we turn to Slavik folklore for The Firebird. In this story, the Firebird and Prince Ivan's stupidity are the driving forces.

Firstly, I need to address the family dynamics in Ivan's house. I understand that he and his brothers might be competitive about catching the thief and then finding the firebird. However, that is no excuse for his brothers to kill Ivan and leave his body for the crows, taking his ill-gotten gains with them. Even their father isn't too grieved about his sons' deaths because Ivan is marrying a pretty girl. What a family.

Next we have the long-suffering gray wolf. While it is true that he killed Ivan's horse, the wolf more than makes up for this theft by helping Ivan commit three more thefts, even though Ivan can't follow directions. I could understand that the first time, Ivan could be tempted by the Firebird's cage. He might have even been worried about being able to carry off the bird without it escaping. However, when he didn't listen about the horse's bridle either, I gave up on Ivan. I also think the wolf was the reason everyone was asleep and it would have been so easy to steal their greatest treasure. The wolf tirelessly works to get Ivan what he wants, even though Ivan seems incapable of helping himself. The wolf is the only hero in this story.

Then we have Ivan himself. This is an unscrupulous, greedy man. He agreed to steal a Firebird, horse, and princess with no second thoughts. He was driven into these thefts, so they are understandable. However, once Ivan has these precious items and the princess, he doesn't want to give them up. The long-suffering gray wolf tricks the tsars so Ivan can keep what, and who, he stole.

The princess, Helen, is essentially an object. Princess Helen is beautiful and walks more slowly than her attendants and her father's name is Dalmat. We know nothing else about her. It's entirely possible she wanted to marry Ivan's brothers more than Ivan. Or even the wolf! We've seen that happen before in fairy tales, and he is the most noble character. The point being that Helen is passed around as easily as the horse or firebird. No one asks her opinion and she never seems to have one. I realize this is part of the time this fairy tale was told, but Ivan is still greedy for treating this beautiful woman like she is another precious thing to be stolen, instead of a person.

The moral of this tale is that if you choose to sacrifice your horse, you will gain an incredibly loyal friend who works to make your whims real, no matter how stupid you are.

I wonder what would have happened if Ivan had gone straight at that pillar instead.

Sleepy John

You can't see them, but she's wearing dancing shoes. Twelve pairs.

This week, we turn to the Czech Republic for our tale. Sleepy John is a variant on the Twelve Dancing Princesses tale. In this story, there's just one queen dancing, but she wears out twelve pairs of shoes each night.

This whole tale was possible because of two very rude farmers. It was not wise of Sleepy John to fall asleep in a cart, but there was no reason the farmers had to leave him in the forest, inside of a beer cask. More than anything else, this story happens through Sleepy John being lucky. If he hadn't been left to die in the forest (and survived it), he wouldn't have met the hermit and gotten his wonders, which let him track the queen. Why was that man a poor hermit in the forest? He had three magical items and he even knew which day he was going to die, so he was clearly not an ordinary man. My assumption is that the hermit was actually a fairy who was trying to help Sleepy John for some reason. That's usually how these things work in fairy tales.

In any case, Sleepy John finds himself at the castle where they truly have a Dancing Queen. He decides that he will not be sleepy on this particular night and that he will stay awake to follow the queen and find out what she's been doing. So, forsaking his name, John stays awake, even though he pretends to be asleep, to follow the queen. I guess he was just lazy to earn his nickname since he could stay awake when he wanted to. Also, I'm not sure what kind of people the queen has been around, but I would wake up from a solid sleep if someone scorched the soles of my feet.

With the magic of his hat and stick, John manages to follow the queen without being found. The queen definitely noticed when he broke off a branch from each forest they went through, but was unable to find him. At the time, it seems like a dangerous gamble, but it proves to be the reason his story is believed. That makes me wonder how many others have successfully followed the queen, but were not believed. The king doesn't seem to really want to know what his wife has been up to every night, and the penalty for not finding out is to lose your head. It seems like the king was actually trying to hide what his wife was doing, even though he said he wanted someone to find out. Interesting. That makes me wonder what was going on in their marriage.

The moral of this story is that if you're going to be the main character in a fairy tale, you'd better hope you're lucky so that everything turns out well for you.

Jirtdan-The Little Boy Who Fought Monsters

Nothing bad will happen if we're stuck here overnight.

Today, by request, we're looking at a fairytale from Azerbaijan. Jirtdan-The Little Boy Who Fought Monsters is about a tiny boy who has a lot of cunning.

I have to admit, at the beginning of this story, I was not a fan of Jirtdan. He makes his friends do all of the work when they're cutting wood and he won't even walk home! It's possible that Jirtdan was too little, but I think he's getting all he can out of his friends. In any case, the boys are caught in the forest in the dark and they end up at a human-eating giant's house. As one does.

It made me laugh every time the div came into the room and asked if everyone were asleep. Jirtdan got himself dinner out of the deal instead of being dinner. Then Jirtdan asked the div to bring him water in a sieve from the river. The div must have been incredibly tired, hungry, or dumb to even try this. However, he wanted all of those boys to fall asleep so he could eat them, gosh darn it. So, he went to the river to try to bring back some water in a sieve.

The boys make it across the river, but Jirtdan is not done besting the div. The div asks how he can get across the river, and Jirtdan gives him deadly advice. I'm not sure why the div listened to advice from someone who wanted water in a sieve, but he was probably too out of sorts at this point to question it. It was the last mistake the div would make. By this point, I kind of feel bad for him. All he wanted was to eat these children and instead he has to be a servant for them and then ends up drowning. And he never got his dinner!

Throughout the story, Jirtdan is clever and ruthless. Not only did he use his friends when it didn't really matter when they were cutting wood, but even after he knew the div was going to eat them, he made sure that he got something out of the giant first before escaping with his friends. He didn't share his eggs either. What a jerk.

The moral of this story would have to be to make sure you're either not good enough friends with the clever kid in town to get dragged into these messes, or that you're such good friends that he won't possibly leave you behind.

Baba-Yaga and Vasilisa the Fair

Doesn't everyone use a skull as a lantern?

Greetings, readers. This week, we take a trip to Russia to read one of Baba Yaga's stories. Baba Yaga is a fixture in Russian myths, but she is always the villain. She fascinates me, partially because her house runs around on chicken legs. This week, we'll be looking at Baba-Yaga and Vasilisa the Fair.

I have truly started to wonder why the only good mothers in fairy tales are the dead ones. Vasilisa's mother loved her so much that her blessing served Vasilisa until the day she died. So, of course, this woman died when Vasilisa was young, and of no particular illness. Vasilisa's stepmother, however, had two healthy daughters, and none of them had any sickness worth mentioning. This makes me wonder about if Vasilisa had any children and how long she lived after delivering them.

In any event, Vasilisa's last keepsake from her mother was a doll which helped her do all of the ridiculous tasks that her stepmother set her to. Her father is essentially not in this story. Eventually, the stepmother finds a reason to send Vasilisa to Baba Yaga's house, in the hope that the girl would be eaten. Her excuse of needing a light was pretty flimsy, though. It would be one thing if Baba Yaga's house were nearby, but it took Vasilisa a full day to walk there. By then they obviously had lit a fire and gotten the candles burning again. It's sad that Vasilisa was so desperate to please her stepmother that she walked into almost certain death, armed with only a doll possessed by her mother's blessing. Not only does Vasilisa, or the doll, complete Baba Yaga's tasks, but then Baba Yaga gives her a light, which kills Vasilisa's evil stepfamily. It's almost like Baba Yaga was trying to help the girl, in her own extreme way. Afterwards, Vasilisa found an old woman to share a house with and managed to keep them both alive.

This bears some examination. If Vasilisa was able to find somewhere to live and a way to eat without a family, truly a feat for a single woman in this time, why did she even go to Baba Yaga's house in the first place? The only reason I can imagine that she didn't abandon her stepfamily is that she was afraid to make her own way in the world. Look at what it got her when she did: she made incredibly fine clothes, she got to marry a man she loved, and she was taken care of for the rest of her life. Again, for this time, that's a big deal. I suppose Baba Yaga is actually a hero in this story, however unwillingly.

The moral of this story would have to be either that you can find goodness in unexpected situations, or that if you're crazy talented at something, you should probably do that before you're cast adrift and save yourself some trouble. Just think, Vasilisa could have met the tsar paragraphs earlier!

Puppy Love

A puppy, in its natural habitat

This week's story comes to us from South Africa. It caught my eye because, really, who doesn't want to read a story called Puppy Love?

We have all the makings of a standard fairy tale to begin with: the king who only wants a daughter and finally gets one, the daughter who doesn't turn nasty and selfish even though she gets everything she wants, and some jealous girls. Typically in European fairy tales the jealous girls are instead the girl's step-mother, but so far it looks pretty similar. Then the girl rescues a puppy from drowning. He doesn't talk, like he would in some fairy tales, but he follows her everywhere and they're best friends.

I was surprised that this beautiful princess didn't catch some young man's eye. She was saved from certain death by a dog instead of a prince or a man, which takes out the whole idea of her marrying her rescuer and makes it instead about debts being repaid. Her father and the men of the village come along afterward to essentially walk her home, and so the chief could see with his own eyes what had happened to his favorite daughter. To be honest, I'm surprised the girls tried to kill the princess, no matter how much they hated her because it could backfire on them like this.

I was a little worried about the king's wording of his punishment. If all the girls had to do was bring the monster to the chief, then it could destroy the village and they would still have kept their word. However, this is probably something that was changed in translation, so I shouldn't worry about it too much. The girls did as they were told, though. They brought the monster into the village and even managed to cage it, so that the warriors of the village could kill it.

I know this story is about the princess and how much she and her dog loved each other. I am on board with that, truly, but I think these nameless girls are the real heroes. I mean, after they tried to kill their princess. They were the only ones who were able to get rid of the monster in the lake. They did not kill it themselves, but they put themselves in danger to get it out of the lake and into the kraal.

The moral of this story is either to save puppies as often as you can, or to be able to run really fast if you're trying to get rid of a monster.

Alphege, or the Green Monkey

Looks about right....

This week's story comes from England. Alphege, or the Green Monkey is a tale of love, loss, and a monkey. You can have this particular tale read to you, if you want. Isn't it lovely what technology can do these days?

We have all of the usual ingredients for a fairy tale here: the stepmother who is jealous of her step-child, the clueless father who doesn't know how evil his second wife is, and the noble prince just trying to survive. As a bonus, we also have a fairy godmother, of sorts. The prince also has a loving set of parents in his governess and tutor, which is a relief knowing his father and stepmother can't have been that attentive.

One aspect I was surprised by, but really like, is that the new queen's son is actually a good person. He is a good ruler while his older half-brother is away on monkey business, and when the older prince is restored to himself, the stepbrother immediately offers to give up the throne. I think the older prince made a great call in ruling jointly with his stepbrother, especially since that prince would know far more of what was going on in the kingdom than the older prince, at least until the monkey prince got caught up on current affairs.

We need to talk about the "fairy godmother" for a moment. I'm a little confused by her. When the prince turns into a monkey, she comes to the desert with him to relieve his suffering, which is great, but she didn't cure him and it was a long time until he found his way back home. If she's so powerful and loves him so much, why didn't she change him back sooner? I feel like this "Good Queen" had been wanting to meet her godson again for a long time, remember he never left his kingdom, and now that she had a chance to spend time with him, she kept him for as long as she could. It's definitely not the best motivation, but it's understandable. However, even after she decides to let him go back home, she doesn't change him back into a man. She leaves him as a monkey for awhile longer before finally telling the prince's old governess in a dream how to change him back. I'm not sure this is the kind of godmother I would want.

The moral of this story should be, "If you get into trouble, you have to be very patient for someone else to get you out of it, even if you have a fairy godmother." It's a good thing the old governess recognized the monkey as the prince, or he might never have been changed back.

Prince Bariam and the Fairy Bride

Is she a dove or is she a woman? Trick question: she's a fairy.

This week, dear reader, we turn to Pakistan for our fairytale. This one certainly intrigued me. It's Prince Bariam and the Fairy Bride.

Just to begin the tale, we have a male giant kidnap a prince. I have seen a tale where a man kidnaps another man so rarely, I double checked to make sure I wasn't misreading "princess". So already we're off to an interesting start. This giant is longing to possess the prince, which is usually something that happens only to princesses and beautiful women. Prince Bariam is treated like a possession, so of course his fairy bride is as well. Firstly, he steals her clothes so she can't turn back into a dove and run away from him. Then the giant, whose wife she was before, decides that since he loves Prince Bariam so much, he'll give away one of his wives. Oh, but it's all okay because the fairy wife fell in love with Prince Bariam too. Or something. She was very philosophical about never seeing her fellow fairies again.

Everything was fine until the wife, Ghulab Bano, decided she needed to see her parents again. Once they found out she was married to a mortal, her folks got mad and locked her up. Because she's still theirs even though she's been married to two different people now, I guess. Fortunately, Prince Bariam gets a magical cheat code from the giant so he goes to live with Ghulab Bano in her prison. I thought this was an interesting choice. It might have felt a bit stifling to live with the giant, since he sort of had feelings for both of them, so I can understand why they might want to get away from that for awhile, but why didn't Prince Bariam take her to his home? In any case, it must not have been too bad because after Prince Bariam and Ghulab Bano left the prison, they went back to live with the giant for several years. Several awkward years.

Meanwhile, the prince's kingdom has been ruled by the vizier and three of the prince's four wives are now married to the vizier. I can't really blame them. Prince Bariam never thought about them during the years he was gone and the one wife who defied the vizier was put in a pit and fed scraps. Prince Bariam doesn't bother trying to take his kingdom back until he thinks the vizier has kidnapped Ghulab Bano. Then he raises his army of giants, defeats the vizier, kills his unfaithful wives, and saves his faithful wife. He must have been kind of mad when he found out the vizier didn't kidnap Ghulab Bano. He must have felt like he did all of that for nothing if he hadn't bothered to try to take his kingdom back before. Prince Bariam must have been even more mad when Ghulab Bano wouldn't come live in the human world with him after that. What a silly situation to be in. Prince Bariam split his time between fairy world and the human world, like a kid with divorced parents, until he died.

As for the moral of this story, I suppose the best one is that it's not all bad when a giant falls in love with you.