Thursday, March 28, 2019

Self Reliance

Greetings, reader! Fitcher's Bird was pretty dark, so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that my story based on it is dark as well, but this might be the closest to a horror story I've ever written. Enjoy.

Imagine this, except much, much larger.

Lydia had disappeared last week. The whole town had gone on alert. Nothing like that had happened here in a long, long time. Then, two days ago, Lydia's sister, Casey, had disappeared. Jasmine, the youngest of the three started keeping mace on her at all times. Some of the kids at school said she might be next. Even so, she never saw it coming.

Jasmine was outside, taking the garbage to the curb. She heard something behind her, but before she could react, a cloth was pressed over her mouth. Jasmine tried to reach in her pocket to pull out her mace, but her hand didn't work quite right and the world was growing darker around her until everything went black.

Jasmine woke up on the couch in an old house. Her mace, phone, and watch were gone.

"Hello," a man said.

Jasmine flinched away from him. Her head responded by telling her that it hurt and her stomach added that she might want to throw up.

"My name is Bill. You are Jasmine, correct?"

Jasmine slowly sat up, not wanting to respond. This had to be the same man who had taken her sisters, so where were they?

He smiled a wide smile. "While you are here with me, you are the mistress of this house. You can go into any room you like." He produced a set of keys. "Except for the basement, which is opened by this key." He held up the only key on the ring that wasn't large and old fashioned. It looked like the key to a regular padlock. "You must also keep this egg with you."

Jasmine flinched away from him, so Bill set the keys and egg down on the couch next to her. He stepped back and looked at her expectantly.

"Can I go home?" Jasmine asked in a small voice.

"You can talk!" Bill replied. "As I said, you can go anywhere in the house you like. It truly is a grand old house. There is a story that one young woman slept in this house for 100 years!"

Jasmine's stomach dropped. Behind Bill's polished manner was something unsettling. Jasmine weighed the odds of overpowering him and running out of the house. She glanced out the window and saw rows and rows of trees.

"Ah yes," Bill said, following her gaze. "The last man to live in this house truly appreciated his privacy. He bought up as much land around the house as he could. It's all forest now." He turned back to Jasmine. "So tell me, my dear. Do you like your new home?"

Jasmine wished she had something to snap back at him, but her mind was a blank. "Where are my sisters?" she managed.

Bill's face darkened. "They were not worthy," he replied. "Do not speak to me about them."

Jasmine pressed herself back against the couch, terrified. She was convinced her sisters were dead.

"Let me take you on a tour of the house." Bill's smile should have looked kind, but the steel in his eyes made Jasmine afraid.

She stood up and picked up the keys and egg, but stayed out of Bill's reach.

The house was beautiful and it had been renovated wonderfully. Some had put a lot of money and care into this house.

"It's one of the last places to have suffered the effects of a curse," Bill told Jasmine wonderingly. "So much magic to keep a girl asleep yet alive for 100 years and it all happened here."

"What happened to the girl?" Jasmine asked.

Bill shook his head. "The magic is the only thing that matters."

Jasmine decided not to ask any more questions after that.

Eventually, the tour ended in a bedroom. "This will be your room," Bill told her. "Don't worry. It's not where that girl slept for 100 years. I will be out tomorrow, but my servants will attend to you. Do not be alarmed at their presence. They only harm my enemies."

Jasmine was about to ask what he meant, when she saw a monster standing in the doorway behind Bill. It was short, the top of its head was about level with Bill's waist, but its teeth were far too large and pointed. And it was looking right at her.

Jasmine was too afraid to scream. Her entire body tensed up and she was frozen.

Bill laughed gently. "That is what I meant. They will see you don't come to any harm and that you don't leave. The world out there can be so dangerous." He smiled at her again. "Good night."

Thankfully, he and the monster stepped out of the room. But Jasmone's stomach hit the floor when she heard a key turn in the lock. Immediately, Jasmine ran to the window. It was small and they were one level above ground level. "Maybe I can tie my sheets together," Jasmine thought. She tried opening the window. It didn't budge.

Looking closer, Jasmine saw the window had been nailed shut. She tapped on the glass, wondering if she could break it. Instantly, a monster's face appeared in the window. This time, Jasmine did scream and run backwards. It grinned at her evilly, tapped on the window once, and crawled away.

Shaking, Jasmine made her way to the bed and sat with her back against the headboard. Even though Bill had told her the monsters wouldn't hurt her, every time Jasmine started to fall asleep, she would think about them coming in her room and she would jerk awake. It was the worst night of her life.

Once the sun started to rise, Jasmine finally couldn't stay awake any more and she fell asleep.

She woke up, noticing that the sun was bright and worried she had missed school. Then she remembered where she was and realized that was the least of her problems. She crept to the door and tried it. It was unlocked.

Jasmine noticed the keys and the egg of her bedside table. Why had he given her an egg? If she kept it with her, she would probably drop it and break it. Jasmine put a pillow flat on the bed and set the egg on it. She took the keys with her. She had to find a way out of this place, but she had to look for her sisters first.

She had been all over the house before with Bill, but she looked at everything again, looking for clues. Someone had left her a bowl of oatmeal in the kitchen. Jasmine was starving, but she didn't know what was in it and the thought that one of the monsters made it was enough to turn her away.

Caught by an idea, Jasmine began searching the kitchen for a knife. When she couldn't find one of those, she searched for a frying pan. No luck. It was as if anything that could be used as a weapon had been taken away. There weren't even butter knives.

Are this point, Jasmine had searched everywhere else in the house. She didn't know what would happen if Bill caught her in the basement, but she knew it wouldn't be good.

Jasmine stood in front of the basement door that he'd been so careful to point out. It was possible that he had an alarm on the door. But he had seemed so offended by the idea of technology. He had told her the only reason the house didn't have gas lights instead of electric was because he couldn't get the utility company to run a gas line out here. Jasmine checked for a camera, but she couldn't see anything.

Jasmine took a deep breath. Then she found the small key on the key ring and unlocked the padlock on the basement door. Nothing happened. Trying to breathe slowly, Jasmine took the padlock off and opened the door.

There was a dark staircase in front of her and it lead down to a door at the base of the stairs. Jasmine flipped the light switch and slowly made her way down. The door at the bottom wasn't locked and there was a light shining through under the door. Not sure what she was about to see, Jasmine eased the door open.

It took her a moment to process the sight and the stench of what she was seeing. When Jasmine realized there were body parts all over this room, she threw up. She didn't want to look at them closer, but she had to know. Jasmine steeled herself and looked for her sisters. She found Casey first and Lydia was next to her. They were both in pieces.

Sobbing, Jasmine dropped the keys outside the room and stumbled in. She had to put her sisters back together. It wasn't right to leave them like this. Without thinking about what she was doing, Jasmine found her sisters' parts and put them where they belonged. Jasmine was sobbing and praying that somehow they could come back to life.

Lydia's and Casey's chests rose and fell and Jasmine jumped backwards. "You're alive!" Jasmone stammered.

Lydia looked at her. "Jasmine! You've got to run!" She looked around. "Is Bill here?"

"No," Jasmine said, hoping he wasn't coming home at that moment.

Casey looked at Lydia. "But you were dead. I saw you..." She looked down at herself. "I was dead."

Jasmine nodded. "You were both dead and I had to put you back together and then... I don't know. You came back to life."

Lydia shook her head and stood up. "We'll have to worry about that later. We need to get out of here."

Jasmine was more than glad to let Lydia take over. "What do we do?"

"We get out of here and lock everything up behind us. Bill can't know what happened."

"Can we fight him?" Casey asked. "It'd be three against one."

Lydia shook her head. "I tried that when I got here. He's quick and strong. He broke my ribs." Lydia genly touched the side of her ribs. "Although I guess whatever Jasmine did healed them too."

"So what do we do?" Jasmine asked.

"We can't just run," Casey said. "I tried that and his monsters caught me." She shuddered.

"We'll have to hide and figure something out." Lydia helped Casey stand up. "Casey and I can hide in the stable. I think we'll be safe there until tomorrow morning. The monsters are only around at night and they don't bother with the stable. Jasmine, can you pretend to Bill that you didn't see anything?"

Jasmine nodded. "I have to. I'll see if there's a way we can sneak out. Maybe he'll leave again tomorrow."

Lydia nodded. "You've got a good head on your shoulders. Take a shower and try to relax. We'll be out of this soon."

Jasmine looked down and saw she was covered in blood. "Oh," she said weakly.

They left the room and shut the door behind them. Jasmine wasn't sure she could make it up the stairs, but she made herself take the first step.

Casey seemed to remember something. "Is your egg here?"

Jasmine shook her head. "I left it upstairs."

"Good. Don't touch it until after you shower. You can't wash the blood off of it. That's how he caught me."

"Me too," Lydia said. She looked at the floor. "Okay. Jasmine, go take a shower. There should be a change of clothes for you in that room. Casey and I will clean this up."

"Clean up what?" Jasmine asked. She looked at the floor and realized she'd been leaving bloody footprints behind. She couldn't say anything, but she slowly reached down and took off her shoes, leaving them by the top of the stairs. They weren't far from the kitchen, so Jasmine mechanically walked over and washed her hands up to tell elbow.

"We are going to need so much therapy after this," Casey said, grabbing a roll of paper towels.

Jasmine gave her the ghost of a smile. "Once we make it out." She went upstairs and walked fully clothed into the shower. It took a long time to get all of the blood out, but Jasmine finally walked out of the shower and put on the change of clothes she'd found. It was full dark now, so Jasmine hoped her sisters were in the stable and that Lydia was right about the monsters.

She had enough time to sit on the couch in the living room, with her keys and the egg, before Bill walked through the front door.

"Good evening," he greeted her. "May I see your egg?"

Trying not to look scared, Jasmine held the egg out to Bill.

It almost looked like he was disappointed, but then a smile took over his face. "You've passed the test! You're the first one! We will be married as soon as I can get someone out here."

Jasmine was speechless. "Married?" she managed, eventually.

"Oh yes. What else did you think this was for?"

"But I can't get married. I'm still in school."

"Not any more," Bill replied with a smile. "You can stay here and take care of the house for me. Maybe I'll teach you some magic as well."

"Magic?" Jasmine asked, so far out of her depth that she wasn't sure she could float.

"Only if you're very good," Bill replied. "For now, let's have dinner."

It was the most awkward meal Jasmine had ever had. She kept expecting to be poisoned, but nothing happened. The food wasn't the best she'd ever had, but it was fine. The next day, Bill didn't leave. Jasmine had to think of something.

"Isn't a gift to the bride's parents traditional?" she asked, a plan forming in her mind.

Bill started. "You're absolutely right. What should we give them? Whatever you wish. Money is no object."

Jasmine thought for a moment. "Could I fill a chest for them? I want to pick the right things to send them."

Bill thought. "You could, but that would take a long time. We could wire them some money so they could buy what they want themselves."

Jasmine needed a big box to leave this house, not a transaction at a bank. "But it would be rude to just send money like that. Let me pack up a chest. They'll like that much better."

Bill considered for a moment. Then he smiled. As always, it didn't quite reach his eyes. "As you wish, my dear. None of these rooms are big enough, so I suppose we can go to the stable."

Jasmine nodded. She hoped her sisters were hiding well. They walked into the stable and Jasmine was relieved to see neither of her sisters around as well as a giant trunk in the middle of the space.

"What will I put in it?" Jasmine asked.

In answer, Bill gestured. Piles of gold coins, beautiful paintings, furs, gems, and everything else Jasmine could think of appeared around the room. Jasmine gasped.

Bill chuckled. "A simple conjurer's trick. Perhaps I can teach it to you someday."

Jasmine tried to hide her revulsion. It would be amazing to learn magic, but she wanted nothing to do with this man. Instead, Jasmine walked around the room, admiring what she saw. Very slowly, and with a lot of deliberation, she began to sort out what she wanted to send back. When Bill tried to help, Jasmine made sure to be as indecisive as possible. "I want to get it right," she insisted.

Eventually, Bill looked around and sighed. "My dear, I am afraid I have some other business to attend to in the house, but I will be back in a wink."

"All right," Jasmine said, examining the sculpture she had picked up.

Bill chuckled and left. Jasmine meandered to the window and made sure he went inside the house. "Lydia, Casey, quick," she hissed.

Something moved in the hay loft, and it Lydia and Cassie emerged from the hay.

"Get in the chest!" Jasmine said.

"What happened?" Lydia asked as she climbed down the ladder.

"He doesn't know I found you. But he said he wants to marry me."

"What?" Casey snapped. "I'll break his neck."

Jasmine shook her head. "We can't fight him, remember? But this chest is going home and the two of you need to be in it. Then you can bring help."

It took some more convincing, but finally Lydia and Casey got in the chest and Jasmine quickly covered them in priceless gifts. She was just finishing up when Bill came back.

"Lovely. Do you need a second chest?"

Jasmine couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic. This chest was as full as it could be, after all. "No, this is plenty," she replied.

"Excellent. I'll go deliver it to my future in-laws. I'll just leave it for them for now. I don't want to introduce myself to them until after we're married, after all."

Jasmine thought she might be sick, so she didn't say anything. She waited in the barn while Bill drove a pick up truck over. She helped him open the barn doors. Then he levitated the chest into the back of the pick up truck and turned to her. "I will be back soon. Perhaps you could make sure the house is clean while I am gone. I will come back with an officiant."

Jasmine tried to smile, but she wasn't sure she was successful. It didn't matter because Bill barely looked at her before getting in the pick up and driving away.

Jasmine ran toward the house. She'd been thinking that I'd she could bring her sisters back to life, then maybe she could resurrect the other women in that room. She still had her ring of keys and she had some time before sunset.

She raced to the basement stairs and unlocked the door. She tried to prepare herself for what she would find at the base of the stairs. To her sisters' credit, there was no blood on the stairs. Jasmine shivered and opened the door. Even though she knew what to expect, she still wasn't prepared.

Jasmine took a few breaths of fresh air and headed in. The first woman she found was mostly in tact, so Jasmine put her pieces together. She watched as the woman became whole again. Jasmine kept watching, but nothing else happened. The woman stayed dead.

Jasmine stumbled out of the room and started crying. She wanted to save them all. And then maybe they could fight Bill. But she couldn't. Jasmine allowed herself to cry for a bit longer, and then forced herself to stand up. She had to make a new plan.

Cringing, Jasmine picked up the woman and brought her out of that room. Somehow, Jasmine had avoided getting blood on herself this time. She shut the door and brought the dead woman upstairs. Jasmine locked the basement door behind her and brought the dead woman all the way up to where Jasmine had slept last night. Jasmine refused to think of it as her room. Jasmine propped the woman up in a chair near the window. They looked vaguely similar, so it would look like Jasmine was there.

Jasmine staggered to the bathroom and threw up again. She realized that she had to trap Bill inside. She tried to imagine the next steps. She could get to the police and say Bill had kidnapped her and her sisters. And murdered all the women in the basement. But could any jail hold Bill? She had seen him use magic and he had those monsters. And if he found out what she'd done, he would kill her.

Jasmine gulped. She was going to have to kill him. She couldn't fight him and she didn't have a gun. A fire should do it. Jasmine found the alcohol he had tried to get her to drink and started pouring it around the doors and outer walls of the house. She blocked the back door and made everything ready. Then she ran into the forest to wait. She climbed up a tree to get a bird's eye view of the road.

Soon enough, Bill's pick up truck came down the road with another car behind him. Both men got out and headed inside. Jasmine hadn't realized she'd be killing someone else too. Still, this man was willing to marry Bill off to anyone Bill had back at the house. Jasmine shoved the barricade in place against the front door and flicked her lighter on. She touched it against the alcohol she'd poured outside and it started burning. She touched the flame to a few other spots too before it got too hot.

Jasmine stood back and watched the house start to catch on fire. She heard men screaming inside and her stomach churned.

"Nice work," a man said.

Jasmine whirled around. "Are you a friend of Bill's?" she asked, trying to figure out how to get out of this.

The man held up his hands. "Not at all. I was coming to see what he was up to, and I see it wasn't anything good. Your fire does need to be a bit stronger to keep him from getting out, though." The man gestured and the fire flared up and consumed the house.

"How did you do that?" Jasmine asked.

"I have a way with fire," the man replied with a grin. "Here." He handed her his card.

Jasmine glanced at it. "OK, Luke. Why did you help me?"

"Because I might need your help someday. I find that in the magic community, it's best to do favors for others before you know if they'll help you."

"Magic? What do you mean?"

Luke smiled. "Perhaps another time. It would be inconvenient for me if I were here when the police arrived."

"What?" Jasmine asked. Then she heard cars tearing up the driveway. She turned and saw police cars, followed by a fire truck. She turned back and Luke was gone.

Jasmine started walking toward the police. She should feel relieved. Now that they were here, she didn't have to be in charge anymore. But some small part of her knew she could never trust anyone else to be in charge of her safety again.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Fitcher's Bird

Definitely a woman covered in feathers pretending to be a bird
That's definitely a bird and not a woman covered in feathers.

Hello, reader. For this post, we're looking at one of the Grimm fairy tales called Fitcher's Bird. For those of you familiar with fairy tales, it might remind you of Bluebeard, which I liked so much, I looked at it twice. However, this story is different in a few key ways that make it perfect for Women's History Month. Keep reading to see what I mean.

We have to start by talking about the ending. The youngest daughter outsmarted the man who trapped her. She didn't need to be rescued because she rescued herself. She just asked her family to make sure no one else would fall victim to this guy. Excuse me. She didn't just rescue herself. She rescued her sisters too, after they were dead. I've got two ideas about that. Either this man's axe was magic and didn't fully kill anyone, or the youngest daughter is magic. I mean, she is the youngest of three girls...

I also get a kick out of how smart this girl is. She not only gets her sisters out, but she has the evil man carry them! It's interesting that he was willing and able to carry the weight of two women and some gold on his back. Especially since he thought all of that was his gold. He's either not worried about money, or he had a plan to get all of that back anyway.

So, that plan was brilliant, but the youngest daughter's next plan is ridiculous. But in the best way. She covers herself in feathers and says she's a bird. Even the villain, who disguised himself as a beggar earlier and would know something about disguises, believes her. I have to wonder what kind of birds they had back then. If I saw a person-sized bird who told me she was a bird, I would act like I agreed with her (because she's big enough to be scary), but I wouldn't believe it. But maybe that's just me.

I also have to wonder if no one else thought to put the egg somewhere safe when they were looking around the house. Since our heroine didn't have it with her when she found the murder room, it didn't get covered in blood. Apparently every other woman looked in that room and had the egg with her. Odd.

Oh, and of course, no tale of outsmarting the villain would be complete without burning him alive in his house. Because these are the Grimm brothers fairy tales, not Disney's.

I suppose the moral of this story is that if you're going to kidnap and possibly murder girls, you should be a bit more curious about strange things or birds around you. Alternatively, if you get kidnapped, it doesn't matter if the only plan you can think of to get out is crazy, it just might work.

Have a different moral? Annoyed I didn't talk about the villain's magic of compulsion? Have a different fairy tale you want me to talk about? Comment below!

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

The Fairy Forest

Hello, reader. I know this isn't my usual day to post, but I wanted to give you a bonus post since I missed one at the beginning of the month. So, we'll move right along with the modern version of Tam Lin.

Mist creeps through a clearing in a forest
Maybe not the best place to go camping

Tom and his friends had gone on a camping trip in the national park. This wasn't all that unusual. Tom and Lindsey went camping in that forest fairly often and Tom had taken a guys' weekend out there. What was unusual was that he had disappeared when they were out hiking. The guys had all been laughing and joking and suddenly Tom wasn't there. Of course, his friends had searched all around for him, but it was soon clear that this wasn't a joke. Something had happened to their friend. They tried to call 911, but they couldn't get any cell signal out there. They hiked back to camp and managed to get a call through. They showed the park rangers where Tom had disappeared, but the rangers didn't have any better luck than Tom's friends did. It was like the earth had just swallowed him up.

Lindsey was not going to take this lying down. As soon as she heard the news, which wasn't until the next day, she went out there herself. Tom's friends had been able to figure out the coordinates, with the rangers' help, and that's where Lindsey went. She knew that if everyone else had already tried looking for him, there was no way that she could find him. But that wasn't a reason not to try. "Tom!" Lindsey yelled. "Tom!" She wasn't really expecting an answer. Still, the disappointment of that silence hit her like a wave. She choked back her emotion. "Tom, you come out here right now!" she yelled.

"Lindsey!" He was right next to her. How had he done that? And he was wearing white armor.

"Tom!" She hugged him so tightly she didn't ever think she could let him go. Finally, she loosened her hold on him just a bit. "What happened? And why are you wearing armor?"

"I was kidnapped," Tom said. "One minute, I was hiking with the guys and then this woman had pulled me through the ground. She made me put this on."

"A woman pulled you through the ground?"

"I know how it sounds, but she's the fairy queen. Apparently she likes to steal mortals who trespass on their land." Tom shivered. "She's not going to let me go. It was all I could do to slip away just now to tell you."

"How do I get you out?" Lindsey asked.

"I don't know if you can."

"Give me something to work with. I can't just go digging in the hill and hope to find you."

"Tomorrow night!" Tom said. "At moonrise. I heard them talking. Tomorrow night, we're going to go on horseback. It's right down the ridge where you and I like to camp. If you can pull me off my horse and hold onto me, no matter what, then you can save me. I'll be the only one wearing white armor like this."

"Hold onto you? What will happen?"

"Well, I'll change. I'm not sure into what. Maybe a lizard, or a cougar, but they say the fairy queen always ends with a red hot coal."

Lindsey winced. "I'll do it."

"But-"

"Tom. Do you want me to save you?"

He swallowed. "Yes."

"Then I'll be there. And I'll figure something out. I love you. I'm not letting another woman steal you, even if she is a fairy queen."

Tom smiled. "Thank you, Lindsey."

"Of course."

Tom leaned forward and Lindsey kissed him, but even as she was kissing him, she felt him melt away. She opened her eyes and he was gone. Lindsey looked around, and hardened her resolve. She could do this.

Lindsey called off from work and spent the next day getting ready. It was odd. The park rangers and others were combing the forest, but they never stumbled on her or her preparations. Maybe someone was looking out for her after all.

Finally, everything was done and Lindsey settled in. She couldn't risk leaving and not being able to get back here, so she pulled out a book and read. Eventually, it got dark and Lindsey ate a quick dinner, burying what was left. It got too dark to read, but Lindsey knew she didn't have too long to wait before moonrise.

She was watching, but she wasn't sure exactly when the horseman appeared on the ridge. It was almost as if they slid in from another dimension. Tom was right, he was the only one wearing white armor. Lindsey let them pass until Tom's horse moved into position. Then she yanked on the tripwire she'd set up and the horse went sprawling. Not waiting a second, Lindsey ran forward and grabbed  Tom.

Instantly, Lindsey was holding onto a snake that tried to wriggle through her fingers. Lindsey tightened her hold through her gloves. This snake wasn't getting away from her. Then, the snake changed into a bear. Lindsey wrapped her arms around its neck and hung on for dear life. She locked her legs around as much of him as she could. Then it changed again and Lindsey found herself holding onto a red-hot coal. Even through her heat-resistant gloves, she could feel how hot it was. Lindsey gritted her teeth and kept her grip on it. There was no way she was letting him go now, not when she was so close.

"Enough!" a woman yelled.

Tom was standing in front of her. Lindsey grabbed onto his arm.

"You have won," the woman said, her glare burning holes into Lindsey. "If I had known I was going to lose him, I would have taken out his heart and replaced it with a stone. And taken his beautiful eyes and replaced them with stars."

"But you lost him," Lindsey replied. "So stop stealing people. They have lives here."

The fairy queen laughed. "A mortal thinks to tell me what to do? Guard your back well. You have no idea what I would do to you if you fell into my clutches."

Despite her bravado, Lindsey shivered.

The fairy queen smiled. "Keep your mortal man," she said, "and enjoy him for as long as you can." Then her horse turned its nose forward and Lindsey and Tom watched as they rode past and finally disappeared.

"We're never going camping here again," Tom said.

Lindsey agreed.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

The Tale of Tam Lin


A burning piece of wood, like Janet had to hold onto to save Tam Lin
Imagine having to hold onto that!
Greetings, reader and happy Women's History Month! This week, we have The Tale of Tam Lin, a Scottish story about a plucky lass and the lad she loved. This is one of my favorite fairy tales, so let's get to over-analyzing!

Firstly, we need to take several moments to appreciate Janet. In this version, she has the fairy tale trope of falling in love with someone after spending an afternoon with them, but other than that, she's pretty awesome. Once she realizes that she loves Tam Lin and that she can save him from the Fairy Queen, she does it. There is no need for her to try to get someone else to do it, or to dither about it. Janet loves him and she'll do whatever it takes to set him free. What really makes this story stick in my mind, though, are the transformations that Tam Lin goes through before Janet wins him free. I've seen some versions where he also becomes a bear. Can you imagine trying to hang on to someone in all of these forms? The red hot cinder would definitely be the worst one, though. It also makes some nice parallels in my mind with how people change personalities when they're not feeling well, but you stand by them anyway because you love them.

Also, I have to draw this parallel. Some of you may be familiar with the Sexy Lamp Test. Essentially, if a female character can be replaced with a sexy lamp and that plot would stay the same, that character is not relevant to the plot. I'm a little amused that this test works in this story, except for the man. Once Janet and Tam Lin fall in love, Tam Lin doesn't really do much. He could be replaced by a sexy lamp. This isn't great for Tam Lin's relevance to the story, but it does make me chuckle to see a guy not pass this test.

Finally, let's look at Janet's father. All we know about him is that he blessed the marriage between Tam Lin and Janet. Janet is a pretty headstrong girl, so he might have been happy that she'd found a good match. Or he might have known there was no sense in arguing with her about this, especially after he heard what Janet had to do to win him. Either way, if Tam Lin was good enough for the Fairy Queen, he was probably good enough for Janet. Looking at it that way, I almost feel sorry for what Janet's father went through when she was growing up.

The moral of this story is if you're going to win your love back from the fey, be prepared to get hurt. Alternatively, don't let yourself get kidnapped by the Fairy Queen, or it will be really difficult to get someone to save you.

Have another moral? Annoyed I didn't talk about the Fairy Queen? Have a story you want me to look at? Comment below!

Thursday, March 7, 2019

See You Next Week

Hello, dear reader! There will be no blog post this week. I'm finishing a quest that a mysterious old woman charged me with. Come back next week for an analysis of a fairy tale with an awesome heroine in honor of Women's History Month.