Hansel and Gretel Again

Next time, I'm asking for directions, Hansel.

Hello, reader. This week, I wanted to talk about the story Hansel and Gretel again. I covered it once before on my blog, but I could stand to talk about it again. If you wanted a refresher, the story of Hansel and Gretel is at that link, then read on and analyze it with me here.

I can't get over the dynamic between the father and stepmother in this story. Typically, we think of women as the ones being abused in a relationship, but the father is clearly being abused by his wife. I wonder how long they courted before they got married, or if the father just needed someone to help raise his kids and his new wife needed to be married to survive. Clearly, it wasn't working out well for either of them, whatever the reason they got married. I feel bad for the father being bullied into leaving his children to die twice. I wish he had stood up to his wife, but I suppose if he had, the witch in the forest wouldn't have been killed, at least not by Gretel. The father also would not have ended up rich.

I also wanted to touch on something I mentioned briefly last time: the idea that the witch and the stepmother might be the same. As I read the story again, this seems less likely. The witch has terrible eyesight, but a keen nose. The stepmother has good eyesight (or else she wouldn't have seen Hansel looking back at the house when they went into the woods) and she didn't seem to notice when he went outside to get stones, so not such a keen nose. It is an interesting idea for her, though, to marry men she could bend to her will and convince them to abandon their children in the same forest she had set up a house made of food. As it is, the stepmother isn't given that much agency. She is just a desperate woman who chooses to try to live instead of feeding her stepchildren, herself, and her husband when they're in poverty. Obviously, she didn't make the right choice, but there is a twisted logic in why she acted the way she did. And she ended up mysteriously dying for it. When there were no witnesses. I'm not saying the father killed her, but I'm not disagreeing with the idea either.

The moral of this story is don't be a jerk. Alternatively, if you're taken captive by a witch who is going to try to eat you and your brother, pretend to be stupid because you're smart enough to kill her.

Have another moral of your own? Have a story you want me to talk about? Just feel like chatting? Comment below! If you like this blog, don't forget to subscribe so you get a lovely email about new posts.

The Little Mermaid Story

Salutations, reader. Last week, I analyzed The Little Mermaid...again. As usual, I found it interesting to look at some of the characters with less screen time and try to puzzle out their motives. This week, I'm writing a story to put The Little Mermaid in our modern era. Now, let's get on with it before this story grows legs and walks away.

Is a self-sculpture still considered a selfie?

Abalone cautiously floated to the surface. There was no one around. With a smile, she shot upright, almost to her scales. That was the "All clear" signal, so her sisters surfaced as well. Laughing in the sunlight, they slid up onto the rocks before launching themselves up and back into the ocean. These sunny days were getting few and far in between with the number of storms that had come up recently. Abalone had mixed feelings about the ship wrecks these storms sometimes caused. The downed ships gave her more to work with for her sculptures, but she did mourn the dead who were often dragged down with them. But for now, Abalone enjoyed the lovely day with her sisters.

They ducked in and out of the water all day until sun started to slip below the horizon. "Have you seen a more beautiful sunset?" Coral asked Abalone.

Abalone shook her head. "I wish I could paint," she said, not for the first time. "Then I could capture it." She had, briefly, tried to paint, but if she tried underwater, the paint just went everywhere, and if she tried above water, she inevitably got her canvas wet and smeared the paint.

"You could always take a picture," Pearl joked. They had found a waterproof camera once, but when they tried to take it home, the pressure popped it open at the seams and they'd had to bring it back up to leave on the beach.

Abalone splashed her sister and Pearl splashed back. Soon, they were all playing again and Abalone forgot her frustration for a time. They didn't notice how quickly it was getting dark until a fat raindrop splatted against Coral's head.

"Time to go," Coral said, looking up. "This one's going to be a doozy."

"More material for your art," Pearl joked with Abalone.

"I suppose," Abalone replied, frowning. She saw a small boat right before they dove underwater. "Did you see that?" she asked, pointing.

Coral and Pearl followed her finger. They all saw the bottom of a small boat, already rocking in the waves.

"We really shouldn't," Coral started.

"But you know she's going to anyway," Pearl replied. They both looked at Abalone.

"You don't have to help," Abalone replied, shrugging a little.

"Well, here we go," Coral said, swimming toward the boat. "Do you think we can just push it to shore?"

"Maybe. If we're fast," Abalone said. They got to the boat quickly enough and got it turned so it started heading to shore.

Suddenly, oars descended into the water around them. Pearl dodged out of the way. "If I get another bruise from helping you with this..." she began.

"It's a lot better than having another person dead," Abalone finished for her.

Coral sighed and continued pushing the boat, although from a different place so she didn't get hit.

With the three of them pushing and the person above them using the oars, it looked like they were going to make it to shore in time. Abalone could tell from the ripples around them that it was raining really hard now and she could only imagine what it was like up there. She was so intent on pushing the boat that Abalone didn't notice the huge wave rearing up behind them.

The boat went up the wave and crashed into the trough below it, losing an oar, but nothing else. They weren't so lucky with the second wave. The boat went up and landed sideways. A person hit the water hard.

"I'll get them. You right the boat!" Abalone yelled.

"Why?" Coral asked.

"There might be someone else in there," Abalone told her, swimming away.

The waves were black, lit up by the occasional lightning flash. In one of these flashes, Abalone saw the body she'd been looking for. She grabbed them and pushed her way to the surface. When they broke the surface, Abalone saw how intense the storm had become. The rain chilled her almost instantly and she couldn't imagine how cold the human with her felt. Still, she pulled the shore closer to her with each stroke of her arm.

Finally, she felt the sand under her tail and Abalone dragged the human up on the shore. She noticed the human was a man. And he wasn't breathing. Her mind racing, Abalone pressed down on his chest hard. She tilted his head back, pinched his nose, and breathed into his mouth. Abalone had wondered what it would be like to get up close and personal with a human, but this was not what she had in mind.

She kept pushing on his chest and breathing into his mouth until finally, water shot out of his mouth. He coughed and Abalone pushed him onto his side to help the water come out more easily. Now he was breathing, but he was shivering. The storm had died down to a mere drizzle, thankfully. Abalone realized she would have to warm him up. "Damn it," she muttered.

Abalone had to slip back into the ocean several times and back onto land again before he finally stopped shaking. Abalone relished her time in the water as she watched him. There was a town nearby. Someone would probably come out to check the beach and see what the storm had washed up and Abalone had no wish to be discovered. She had seen how cruel humans could be without realizing it. She waited in the water until she saw someone walking that way. Abalone splashed noisily back into the water and watched from below as the person approached the man on the beach. This was another man and he roused the man on the beach. The two of them walked away together, one man supporting the other. Abalone sighed. She could finally go home and get some sleep.

Hours later, after Abalone no longer felt so exhausted, she met up with Pearl and Coral again. "Did you get the boat to shore?" Abalone asked.

"Yes, but there was no one in it," Pearl replied.

"Did you save the human?" Coral asked.

"Yes," Abalone said. She briefly described what had happened.

"Goodness. Humans take so much care and looking after," Pearl said at the end.

"They really do," Abalone agreed. "I'm glad we're more sturdy than they are."

"You would have had similar problems if you'd been trapped on land," Coral pointed out.

"True," Abalone conceded. She shrugged. "Either way. We did our good deed."

"Yes we did," Peal replied. "So, we'd better goof off for several days to make up for it."

Abalone laughed and agreed.

A few weeks later, Abalone was floating in the ocean, watching a wedding that was taking place on a pier that jutted into the water. She had seen several weddings here and had learned how to avoid the photographer's lens. Even if they got her face, it would look like someone had gone swimming and spied on the wedding. Abalone loved the music and dancing that followed, often on the beach nearby, but there was something solemn yet joyful about most weddings that pulled her to them.

She was startled when she finally realized that the man whose life she'd saved was in the audience. He wasn't sitting in the first row, which probably meant he wasn't related to the bride or groom. Now that she had seen him twice, Abalone was curious about who he was. What was his name? Did he often go out in a rowboat in a storm? Fortunately for her, the reception was on the beach right next to the pier. Abalone was able to watch the reception, and dance in the water to some of her favorite songs. Eventually, she heard someone else call the man she'd saved and she learned his name was Daniel. Daniel was telling what his listeners thought was a tall tale about how his boat had brought him back to shore by itself and how he had miraculously washed up one the beach after being thrown out of it.

"I wonder if I should tell him that I saved him," Abalone thought with a smile. The few times she had saved humans from the ocean, she had never talked with them afterwards. This was the first time she had seen one of them later. It was strange. Abalone spent the rest of the reception enjoying the party while stealing glances at Daniel. What kind of man was he? It was hard to tell from here, but he bragged a little too much for Abalone's taste. Eventually, the party ended and Abalone swam away.

Now that Abalone, sort of, knew someone on land, she wanted to go up and visit. She was curious if it had been worth it to save Daniel's life, and she wanted to paint and get good at it. Abalone told Coral and Pearl all of this.

"But it's so dry up there," Pearl pointed out.

"Are you really thinking of doing this?" Coral asked.

Abalone tipped her head a little. "I'm not sure. I'd just want to try it out, you know."

Coral nodded. "But you know going up there even for a little bit will cost you."

Abalone thought about the sea witch. She had never met her, but she knew the sea witch could do anything with her magic. "All adventures have a cost," Abalone replied slowly.

Pearl shook her head. "Just let us know before you go up there so we don't go looking for you."

"Of course!" A few of Abalone's friends had gone onto dry land. Some of them stayed there, but most of them came back. A few days later, Abalone decided she had to try it as well. She told her sisters before she went to the sea hag.

Pearl's lips had thinned to a line, but she had nodded. "Be careful," Coral said, hugging her.

"Of course," Abalone replied. Then she set out. The sea witch's house was a long ways from everything. No one wanted to piss her off, so everyone gave her space. Unless they were asking her for something. Abalone swam until she saw the kelp garden, swaying in the tide. Taking a deep breath, she swam into it, heading straight forward until she reached the clearing in the middle.

The sea witch was beautiful and Abalone had not been expecting this.

"Hello, dear," the sea witch said.

"Hi," Abalone stuttered. "I'm Abalone, um."

"I'm Grace," the sea witch replied with a smile. "What can I do for you?"

"I want to go up on land," Abalone said, the enormity of her request now weighing her down.

"Very well. What will you give me in return?"

"Excuse me?" Abalone had thought the sea witch would simply name something outrageous and Abalone would be forced to comply.

"What would you like to give me in return?"

"I didn't bring anything."

"The best gifts come from you."

Abalone was quiet, thinking.

"Maybe you could tell me why you want to go on land," Grace said.

So, Abalone began with her desire to paint and ended with her curiosity about Daniel.

"Hm," Grace replied. "So you just want to go up there for, maybe three days to see what it's like?"

"Yes," Abalone said. That should be enough time to learn to paint, at least generally.

Grace nodded. "Very well then. Give me your voice."

"Excuse me?" Abalone had been lulled by Grace's calm demeanor, but now she was fully alert.

"It is the proper price. You have a lovely voice and I will trade you a human body for it."

Abalone considered. She knew sign language existed, although she did not know any. Still, it should be easy enough. There were always people painting the sunset. She could just find one of them, pick up a brush and look at them questioningly. Right?

"Do you keep my voice forever?"

Grace shrugged. "You can have it back once you give me back the human form. I'll come collect it from you at the end of the time, unless you decide you want to keep it. Then, I'll keep your voice."

Abalone thought for a moment, then nodded. "Very well. It's a deal."

Grace smiled. "Excellent. Hold still." She reached out and put her hand on Abalone's throat. Abalone felt something getting pulled out through her skin. Then, her gills began to seal up and her tail began to split in half. Grace pulled her up and up as more and more things changed in Abalone's body. Abalone twitched and tried not to gasp so she didn't choke.

When it was all done, she was on the beach with Grace in the water next to her. "I put some clothes next to you," Grace said, but it wasn't her voice. It sounded like Abalone.

"Thank you," Abalone tired to say, but nothing came out. She shook her head and settled on a deep nod instead. Breathing was weird, but manageable. After all, she breathed above water sometimes.

"I'll meet you back here in three days," Grace said in Abalone's voice. "Good luck."

Abalone grabbed the clothes next to her and saw it was a dress. That was a relief. She wasn't sure she wanted to handle wearing pants just yet. Abalone slid the dress over her head and slowly tried to stand up to drop it over her. The dress dropped over her and Abalone fell back into the sand. Legs were hard.

"You all right, girl?" a man called out.

"Of course it's Daniel," Abalone thought, mystified. She nodded and tried to get her legs under her.

"Hey, woah," Daniel said as Abalone tumbled down again. "How drunk are you?"

Abalone looked up at him and raised her eyebrows.

"I see," Daniel replied. He crouched down next to her. "Can I give you a hand?"

Abalone nodded. She grabbed his hand and let him pull her upright. He wrapped her around around his shoulders and put his arm around his waist.

"Do you need a doctor?" he asked.

Abalone shook her head. She was sure this body was human on the outside, but she wasn't sure how thorough Grace's transformation was.

"Let's get you something to eat, then," Daniel said, steering her toward a seaside cafe.

They got settled and, after a bit of haggling where Daniel discovered Abalone was a vegetarian, they ordered food.

"So, where are you from?" Daniel asked.

Abalone shrugged and gestured vaguely East.

"Mainland, huh? I'm born and raised on this island. I can show you around, if you want."

Abalone wondered how long it would take Daniel to notice that she hadn't said a word. As it turned out, it took a long time. They had gotten about halfway through the town before Daniel asked, "You don't say a lot, do you?"

Abalone shrugged and shook her head. She was just glad she had figured out how to walk by now.

"That's all right. I like quiet girls," Daniel said with a leer.

Abalone rolled her eyes. Well, she definitely had an opinion about Daniel, but she supposed it wasn't a waste to save his life. Besides, she wanted to see what it was like to be intimate with a human, and she was pretty sure Daniel would deliver that to her. Sooner or later.

First, though, they had to get dinner, which he paid for, and then go to a club and dance. Here, Abalone missed her tail. Dancing on legs was so different. She felt clumsy where dancing was usually so fluid for her. Fortunately for her, Daniel had quickly gotten drunk and seemed not to notice.

"Hey, baby," he slurred. "Better come back to my place."

Since she had been waiting for this, Abalone left the club with him. This time she was supporting him. He gave loud directions to his apartment and they finally got inside. He didn't waste much time before he mashed his mouth onto Abalone's. After that and some awkward pawing at her chest, Abalone decided she didn't care what the rest of this was like. She didn't want to do it with him. She pushed him away.

"Wassa matter?" Daniel asked. "I'm too good?"

Abalone shook her head and walked to the door.

"Don't walk away, baby," Daniel told her.

Abalone shut the door behind her and headed down the stairs. She would need to find somewhere to spend the night. She ended up on the beach which, coincidentally, was where a concerned woman woke her up the next morning.

"Are you all right?" the woman asked.

Abalone stretched and nodded. It had been a warm night, so she felt fine. Then she noticed the woman was holding a paint brush in her hand. Jumping up, Abalone, pointed at the woman's canvas and grinned. She was painting the sunrise.

"Thank you," the woman said. "Are you not able to talk?"

Abalone shook her head and shrugged.

"I guess you're used to it," the woman replied. "Well, my name is Rose. I suppose I can't ask you for yours?"

Abalone suddenly wished she had learned how to write like the humans did. She could have written her name in the sand. She shook her head.

"Well, I can't call you girl. How about Betty?"

Abalone had no particular objection to that. She shrugged and nodded.

Rose laughed. "You seem pretty easy going."

Abalone smiled. Then she pointed at the canvas again and mimed painting. Then she held out her hand to Rose and raised an eyebrow slightly.

Rose looked at the canvas and looked at Abalone.

Abalone pointed at the brush.

"Do you want me to paint?" Rose asked.

Abalone shook her head.

"Do you want to paint?"

Abalone nodded and grinned.

Rose smiled. "I think we can manage that. I've only got one easel, but I've got another canvas." She looked at the sunrise for a moment. "Can I paint for a bit while you watch? Then I can teach you."

Abalone nodded and smiled. She settled back down on the beach while Rose turned back to her canvas.

It was quite awhile before Rose was done, but Abalone loved watching the painting come alive under Rose's brush. Somehow, the woman knew just how much color to add and where to make the picture shine. By the time she was done, Abalone was on fire with impatience.

Rose handed her the brush, and Abalone tried to make a small bird in the corner. It was a mess. "This is going to be harder than I thought," Abalone thought, sighing in frustration.

Rose smiled. "It takes time," Rose said. Then she began teaching Abalone how to paint. By the end of it, Abalone was able to make basic shapes, but she felt like anyone who could write could do that.

"Do you have anywhere to eat?" Rose asked when they were done.

Abalone shook her head.

Rose bit her lip. "My sister always said I took in too many strays, but do you want to stay with me for awhile?"

Abalone only had one more day. It was disheartening to realize that. Three days was really not enough time to find out much of anything. Abalone nodded at Rose and smiled.

Rose smiled back. "Well, then let's get some lunch. My treat."

Unlike lunch with Daniel, Rose quickly figured out that Abalone was a vegetarian and they spent the meal communicating, however sloppily. Abalone really wished she could write, or that she had her voice back. It was the easiest way to get to know someone.

After lunch, they went shopping and Rose bought Abalone another dress. Abalone tried to stop her, but it was obvious how much Abalone liked the dress. It was purple and shiny and the fabric was unlike any Abalone had seen before. Abalone knew Rose was trying to make sure she had something else to wear, but Abalone was only going to be here one more day. After shopping, Rose brought Abalone home.

Her home was beautiful. There was art everywhere, and there were several places Rose had just painted on the walls. Abalone loved it and was mad that she couldn't do the same in her house.

"It's definitely an artist's home," Rose said with a touch of pride.

Abalone nodded and smiled. She gave Rose a thumbs up.

Rose laughed. "I'm glad you like it."

Abalone saw a painted guitar in the corner and walked over to examine it.

"Do you play?"

Abalone shook her head and shrugged. She put her hand out and delicately strummed the strings. It sounded horrible and Abalone flinched.

Rose laughed. "I haven't played in awhile so I loosened the strings. I play a little. Would you like to hear some?"

Abalone nodded with a grin.

Rose tuned the guitar and strummed a few chords. She began to hum along. It was a song Abalone had heard at a few weddings, but Rose didn't sing the words, she just hummed.

When she was done, Abalone clapped and smiled.

"Thank you," Rose said, turning a little red. "I haven't played for anyone else in a long time." They spent the rest of the night laughing and exploring Rose's house.

Rose had a spare bedroom, and she offered it to Abalone. "There's only one shower, but you can use it first."

Abalone smiled and nodded. She had never used a shower before. She had figured out toilets already, thank goodness. She stepped into the shower and turned the knob. She was immediately in love with the sensation of the water dropping onto her head. She used some of Rose's toiletries, reading the instructions on each one. Finally, she stepped out of the shower and found a towel. She had seen enough people using them to understand how that worked as well. She went to bed clean and dry and finally understood how appealing that was.

The next morning, she and Rose got up early and headed out to the beach to paint the sunrise. After the sunrise, Rose taught Abalone to paint some more. Now Abalone could begin to paint the sea. It would have to be good enough. Abalone looked at the sun and realized her time would be up soon. Making a snap decision, she took Rose's hand, and tugged it a little.

"What?" Rose asked.

Abalone pointed down the beach to where she had agreed to meet Grace.

"You want us to go over there?" Rose asked, confused.

Abalone nodded and tugged on Rose's hand a little more. Then she let go and set off. Grace was probably a busy woman and it wouldn't do to keep her waiting.

Abalone walked through the water to get to the beach she needed, glad the dress Rose had bought her was short enough that it wouldn't get wet. She got to the beach before Rose and Abalone waited while Rose caught up.

"Is this your favorite beach?" Rose asked.

Abalone smiled. She held her hand, palm out toward Rose, telling her to stay. Rose sat down on the ground. Abalone smiled and gave her a thumbs up. Then she turned around and walked into the ocean. She almost missed Grace below the water.

Grace surfaced cautiously in front of her. "You know it was a bad idea to bring her here, right?" Grace asked, still in Abalone's voice.

Abalone nodded, wishing she could convey more meaning in that gesture.

Grace laughed. "Are you ready to come back, then?"

Abalone nodded.

Grace reached out her hand and put it on Abalone's throat. It had felt strange to have her voice removed, but it almost felt more strange to have it put back. Abalone felt her body changing, and she dove beneath the waves to make it easier on herself. The process was easier this time.

"Good luck with her," Grace said, her voice still sounding slightly like Abalone's.

"Thank you," Abalone replied. "For all of this."

"Of course," Grace replied. Then she swam away.

Abalone came back above the water and was startled to find Rose wading out into the water.

"Oh thank God," Rose said. "I thought you had drowned!"

"I'm fine," Abalone said.

"Oh good," Rose said. She started and looked at Abalone again. "You can talk?"

"Now I can," Abalone said. "You trusted me yesterday, and now I'm trusting you." Twisting herself, Abalone brought the end of her tail up above the water.

"What?" Rose asked. "What is that?"

"It's my tail," Abalone told her calmly. "I traded my voice for legs and I've just traded back."

"Oh," Rose said, weakly.

"But we can still be friends," Abalone said. "I just have to stay in the water when we talk."

"Right," Rose said.

"Are you all right?" Abalone asked.

"Sure. I just need to sit down."

Abalone and Rose talked for awhile and agreed to meet again the next day. It took Rose some time, but eventually she got used to Abalone's differences and ended up using Abalone as a model for some of her paintings. Abalone was so happy she had met someone other than Daniel on land.

The Little Mermaid Again

Enjoying a rare moment of being pretty and not in pain.

Greetings, reader. I analyzed The Little Mermaid previously on my blog, but there is definitely more to get into in this story. If you want to read Hans Christian Anderson's original version, I've linked to that for you. If you remember it, go ahead and keep on reading to see my analysis.

The beauty of the little mermaid is mentioned often enough that I feel it's worth looking it. Both above and below the waves, beauty is painful for her. When the protagonist's grandmother puts oysters on her tail to make her beautiful, the little mermaid complains about how much it hurts, but her grandmother tells her to deal with it. Then, when she has legs, the little mermaid is the most beautiful girl around, but every step feels like her feet are being cut apart. I don't think I'd want to be beautiful in either of these worlds. It seems to me that Anderson was trying to tell us something about the cost of beauty by making it so painful. The little mermaid hopes to use her beauty and grace to get the prince to love her as she loves him, but it doesn't work. So, beauty is costly and, ultimately, useless.

I'm also interested in the sea witch in this story. I can't help but compare her to Ursula in the Disney movie and the difference between the two is startling. In this story, the sea witch tells the little mermaid going into land is a bad idea and that it will cost her dearly. She's almost trying to talk her out of it, but she won't stop her if the little mermaid agrees to the craziness. Later in the story, the sea witch even agrees to sell the other mermaid princesses a remedy to the little mermaid's predicament and she only asks for their hair, which will grow back. Granted, the "remedy" of murdering the prince is pretty brutal, but if he was dead then the little mermaid would have no reason to stay on land. Perhaps that was the point. It seems like the sea witch is trying to help the little mermaid not be quite so reckless, but she will enable the little mermaid if she accepts the terms.

The ending is also somewhat unexpected. After all the fuss they made earlier about mermaids not having a soul, you would think that committing suicide would seal the deal of no afterlife. That has generally been the stance of the church, more or less. However, this story takes her intentions into account and the little mermaid is granted the chance to earn a soul and go to heaven. Perhaps when she's there, she can meet the prince on an even playing field and see where it goes from there. That is, if he goes to heaven.

There are many possible morals for this story. I say the best is, "Don't give up everything for a guy who doesn't know who you are." Although, my runner up would be, "If you are going to do something crazy go so crazy with it that it becomes a good idea."

Like this story? Subscribe! Want me to talk about another fairy tale? Comment below! Be sure to come back next week when I put this story into today's context.

Snow White Story

This week, I'll be writing a modern version of the Snow White story. Read on below.

Definitely not poisonous.

She was an internet sensation. She looked at the internet the way others looked into a mirror, and the internet told her she was beautiful. The Queen. The Most Beautiful Woman in the World. She had many titles. One day, she added "Mother" to that list. Her daughter was cute, even as a baby, but as she grew, The Queen grew worried about the attention her daughter was getting on the internet. Men were too vocal about her, no matter that she was a child. When the girl was seven, The Queen decided the comments and the intent behind them were getting too much, so she sent her daughter away. All The Queen told the press was that she was somewhere safe and out of the limelight. The press mourned the disappearance of the Girl with the Lips Red as Blood, Hair Black as Night, and Skin White as Snow. Still, there was nothing for it. Eventually, they moved on to other stories.

Snow White gained seven fathers and a grand, brightly lit playground with all kinds of bright lights and flashing colors. There were no other children in the casino, but it was where Snow White grew up and she learned its rules well. By the time she was eighteen, she was adept at dealing cards and had become a card mechanic. She knew what signals to watch for at the roulette tables and to avoid the digital slot machines except at very specific times. It didn't take much for her to get hired on as a dealer at a blackjack table. Snow White charmed all of the players, but sweetly refused to talk to them beyond the table. The Queen, meanwhile, had been visiting Snow White in secret all these years and taught her everything she knew about makeup, hair styling, how to present yourself, how to win anyone over, and how to convince others that your ideas were their own. In short, Snow White was a knockout.

Too late, The Queen realized Snow White was going to fall back into the watchful eye of the internet once again. The internet began reflecting Snow White's face back at The Queen before she was prepared for it. The comments about the beautiful blackjack dealer were even worse now that Snow White was grown up. One day at work, a man cornered Snow White, demanding a kiss. The Queen had taught her self-defense, but they had both hoped she would never need to use it. Snow White managed to escape and found her seven fathers. The Queen had hoped the culture would change with time, but she had been wrong. That night, The Queen met with Snow White's seven fathers.

"They'll never change," one of them said.

"They might-" another began.

"-but why give them the chance when we don't have to?" yet another finished.

The Queen nodded. "We'll have to remove her from the limelight, but how?"

"Move her?" Even as he said it, the man shifted in his chair uncomfortably.

The Queen shook her head. "No, then she'll only be found again. We need to do something more permanent."

Later, none of them could remember who suggested faking her death first, but it was the idea they kept coming back to. The internet would mourn her, and mirror the sorrowful images on and on until the next big sensation.

"But what do we do after that?" another asked.

"We disguise her," another replied.

"Permanently?" the last one asked.

It would have to be so. The Queen talked to Snow White about how to change her appearance. The Queen had learned to be a chameleon while keeping her stardom; Snow White would have to learn to be a chameleon to lose it. First, however, they needed to stage her death.

They decided while she was at work would be the best way to publicize her "death" as long as no one caught the "perpetrator". The Queen would entrust no one else with this plan. She would do it herself. The casino had a week where it played up custom from a local Renaissance festival and allowed all of the workers to dress the part. Snow White began wearing a corset to the blackjack table. Never mind that The Queen had commented both how much she loved the festival, and how much she loved the excitement of a casino. It worked and The Queen just so happened to visit the casino during this week. She studiously avoided Snow White and, eventually, retired to her VIP room. From there, she managed to disguise herself and slip back onto the floor of the casino.

Snow White had been pulling at her corset all day, so when a kindly woman approached and offered to help her with it, it was only natural that Snow White would agree. The woman tightened the laces and then began to pull. She pulled and pulled until Snow White began to worry her ribs would crack. Only then did the woman tie the corset in place and continue on her way. Some time later, in the middle of a blackjack game, Snow White's vision blurred and she felt herself begin to fall. Her seven fathers were there and rushed to her side. However, before they could get there, one of the people at the blackjack table cut the laces on Snow White's corset. Snow White sucked in a lungful of air and even her pale cheeks began to gain some color.

What else could they do, but honor this young man who had saved her life?

Snow White thanked him prettily, and then went in the back with her adopted fathers. Although they were frustrated at the failure of their plan, the seven of them waited until later to commiserate. They didn't want to distress Snow White. Much later, they met with The Queen again. They decided that a light poison, delivered through a comb, would be the next best trick. There would be no need to change the company dress code for this, and The Queen would not officially make an appearance.

On the appointed day, Snow White arranged her hair carefully, and put a comb in it. She admired the effect in the mirror and wondered if she'd want to wear it again in her new life. Later, as she dealt a game, Snow White swiped her hand over her head to adjust her hair and managed to knock her comb out of her hair. She ignored this and continued to deal. She waited until the end of the game to pick the comb up off of the floor, trusting that the switch had been made when she wasn't looking. Then she jammed it in her hair, pulling it against her scalp as much as she could. She blinked away the sudden tears and turned back to her job.

As she was leaving the floor to go to her break, Snow White began to feel lightheaded. Her feet were clumsy under her and the floor seemed to be moving strangely. Once again, almost as soon as she hit the floor, her seven fathers began to rush to her side, only to be beaten by the same young man. He unbottoned her small dealer jacket and fluffed her hair away from her face, dislodging all of her hair pins. Then he held two fingers to her neck, looking for a pulse. Not too long after that, Snow White's eyes opened again.

"Did I fall?" she asked.

"You did," the young man confirmed. "How do you feel?"

"Fine," Snow White said, standing up. She stumbled a little, but caught herself.

"We'll take it from here," one of her seven fathers said, as they escorted Snow White into the back.

The Queen, looking at the internet, ground her teeth. She had used all of her skill at blending and projecting a fake persona to switch those combs, only to be bested by this man again. Who was he? The Queen searched the internet, but found no easy answers. She brought this matter to Snow White's seven fathers. While the The Queen was used to having the internet reflect back everything she cared about, Snow White's fathers were not. They found the young man and saw that he was a nurse. No wonder he had rushed to Snow White's side when she fell.

"He'll fall in love with her if he helps her again," The Queen predicted.

"You're wrong," one of Snow White's fathers began.

"He already has," finished another.

That made their planning more complicated. Anything else they would do had to be when this young man wasn't around, or he would just save her again. The Queen summarized all of this for Snow White later.

"He loves me?" she asked.

The Queen made an exasperated sound. "Men will always love women like us. Only some of them truly mean it. I don't think he's one who does."

Snow White considered this. "Perhaps I should see if he does."

"If he gets any more attached, he'll try to find you when you disappear," The Queen warned.

Snow White nodded. Since her internet stardom had grown, several more men had tried to assault her. With each one, she hoped the bruises she left would be enough to discourage the next one, but it never was. Part of her feared the day she wouldn't be strong enough to force them away from her. The rest of her purposefully ignored this fear.

The new plan was for Snow White to fall ill in the back, where the customers weren't allowed. If he couldn't get to her, this young man couldn't save her. Snow White took her dinner break like nothing was wrong. She didn't want to vomit in the break room, so Snow White started her dinner by eating the apple. Even though she knew it was going to poison her ("Lightly," they said, "lightly."), she still wasn't ready for it. It hit her like a truck and she immediately began retching, almost making it to the garbage can in time.

One of her seven fathers was there in a flash. He had just to happened to be walking by the break room when she was starting her dinner break. Snow White's other fathers quickly appeared, and they took her out the back and into their car. They drove her straight to the hospital, but Snow White passed out before they got there.

"I hope she didn't get too much," one of the men said.

"Of course not," another said.

"She's a fighter," yet another noted.

They brought her into the ER, and The Queen arrived not long after, devastated to hear about her daughter. The Queen realized she shouldn't have been surprised the handsome young man worked at this hospital, and that he was there when they brought Snow White in. The Queen and Snow White's seven fathers conferred quietly in the waiting room while Snow White was locked behind closed doors.

She was stabilized and tended to and The Queen and Snow White's seven fathers were able to go in and see her. Snow White was still unconscious and her heart rate was slow. The Queen wept. She hadn't realized what it would feel like, to see her daughter like this. She hadn't realized she would be so afraid they got it wrong and Snow White was really dying. Snow White's seven fathers cried, each struck by the same feeling.

The handsome young man entered the room quietly. "Is there someone after her?" he asked.

The Queen looked at him, startled. "What?"

"Is there someone after her?" he repeated. "This is the third time she's been attacked in this past month. Does she have any enemies?"

"How could she?" The Queen asked, looking at her daughter in the hospital bed. "She's so kind and sweet."

The handsome young man nodded. "If you think of anyone, please, let me know."

The Queen looked in his eyes and saw how much he cared about a woman he'd barely spoken to. "You really do love her," The Queen said, but she didn't mean it the way the handsome young man took it.

"Yes," he said quietly, looking at Snow White on the bed.

He loved a victim who always needed saving. He loved this woman who he had seen unconscious more than he'd seen her awake. He loved a woman who was in distress. However, this woman was capable of taking care of herself and The Queen wondered if he knew that.

He came in again as they were leaving. He went over to Snow White's bed just as The Queen turned back to look at her one more time. He gently smoothed the hair back from Snow White's face and kissed her forehead. That was all he did, but all at once, Snow White's pulse increased and she opened her eyes.

"Hello," she said.

"Hello," he replied.

The Queen realized there was no stopping this. "Hopefully, if another man can lay claim to her, the rest of them will stop trying," she thought, exasperated. She motioned for Snow White's seven fathers to come back into the room, and they all rejoiced that Snow White was safe and healthy. The Queen made a mental note to talk to Snow White about this handsome young man soon.

Snow White Again

Please don't murder me because I'm pretty.

Hello, reader. For those of you keeping score at home, I covered Snow White back in June of 2016, but there's a lot more to talk about with this story, so I decided to do that again this week. The Grimm Brother version of Snow White might be more brutal than you remember, so go ahead and give it a look. Then, read below as I examine the story.

First, I want to take a look at the mirror in this story. How was it judging who was most beautiful in the land? I don't think the mirror was an objective judge in this case, since it seemed to be enslaved to the queen. Even if the mirror was objective, what standard of beauty would put a seven year old child as more beautiful than an adult woman? I know that children can be pretty, or even beautiful, but I don't understand why would one compare children and adults in the same category. I'm beginning to wonder if the mirror had ulterior motives with its judgement of this beauty contest.

While the mirror might be trying to use the queen, she seems to be a very crafty lady. Once she finds out that Snow White is still alive, she uses not one, but three plans to try to kill the girl after her initial plan failed. It is interesting to me that the queen never argues that she might be prettier than Snow White. The first two times the queen tries to kill her stepdaughter, the queen says something about how Snow White was pretty. Beauty is such a subjective thing that it makes me wonder why the queen accepts the mirror's judgement without question. Then again, perhaps the queen put a spell on the mirror so that it had to tell the truth about these things. Clearly, the queen cared about being beautiful more than anything else, so it's not out of the question, although it seems a bit over the top to me.

Finally, although he has the smallest appearance in this tale, I wonder about the prince. He was coming into the forest just to spend the night at the dwarves house. If they are such good friends, how did he never meet Snow White before? Or was Snow White with the dwarves for so little time? I prefer to think the prince was neglecting his friends, because otherwise he married a child. Either way, the dwarves were fond enough of this prince to give Snow White's body to him. Once Snow White woke up and agreed to be married to him, I wonder who first broached the subject of inviting her stepmother. I also wonder which of them suggested she should be tortured and murdered at their wedding. Snow White seems too sweet and kind for this, but she could be rightfully angry with her stepmother for attempted murder. The prince is more unknown, so I think it is more likely that he suggested it. Either way, that's a conversation I would have liked to read in this story.

The moral of this story is if you're going to kill your stepdaughter, make sure you do it right, or she'll kill you. Alternatively, if you're on the run from your family, take refuge in the first house you see and everything will be fine.

Questions? Comments? Do you have an alternate moral? Let me know! Don't forget to check back next week to read my modern version of Snow White.